Say What You Want
I know you’ve been through a lot in your relationship journey. But don’t allow the pain of the past to eclipse the light within you. You contain a fiery spirit that cannot be dimmed!
When experiencing a painful relationship, women often fall into a pattern of not expressing themselves fully. They don’t set clear boundaries and they don’t share their passions, dreams and desires. They shut down their feminine essence out of fear of rocking the boat.
But going silent and small only breeds more distance and dissatisfaction. The only way to turn things around is to reclaim your voice.
Your Desires Point Toward Growth
Rather than seeing your wishes as selfish or inappropriate, view them as a guide toward your highest joy and fulfillment. When you express yourself with care for your partner’s needs, too, your desires have the potential to unlock new depths of connection and bliss.
Honor the wisdom of your wants and needs, trusting that when you communicate them from your heart center, they are an honest expression of your soul’s development . Do not let past pain convince you that your desires are wrong or unworthy. They point you toward growth.
Communicate Playfully to Avoid Resentment
Here’s the big secret! Communicate your desires and passions from a playful, flirtatious perspective—especially when you’re nervous about coming across as anxious or angry!
Most of the time, when we’ve let things go too long unspoken, that’s when the anxious, uneasy parts of our ego express themselves in unproductive ways. Then, the person we least want to be comes to the surface. It’s not pretty and it’s not loving.
When repressed anger arrives, that’s the clue that we’ve waited too long to communicate our desires with respect and dignity. Anger is the fire that signals your boundaries being crossed once too often.
Envision the Freedom of Expressing Yourself
What would it feel like to voice your most vulnerable desires in a fun and delightful way, trusting you’ll be met with compassion rather than criticism? How might this transform not just your relationship, but your confidence and passion for life?
The freedom of expressing yourself playfully has the power to unravel past hurts and illuminate the beauty ahead. It can also unlock a deeper connection with your lover.
Research Shows Women Crave Better Conversations
I understand how difficult it can be to communicate wants and needs, especially around intimacy. Social conditioning discourages assertively owning our desires, especially for women. We worry about being judged as too needy or aggressive.
But research from the Kinsey Institute shows that 78% of women crave better conversations and, with practice expressing your truth compassionately and delightfully, your most heartfelt longings can begin to manifest.
Express With Compassion
The key is learning to discuss your desires from a place of mutual understanding, rather than suppression or aggression. It takes courage to open up. But the rewards are great.
Here are some tips for communicating in a way that feels good for you and your partner:
Choose the right time; discuss topics when you are both relaxed rather than anxious or distracted.
Reassure your partner that they are safe and appreciated.
Describe your desires delightfully and avoid criticizing your partner’s actions.
Inquire about your partner’s needs and explore possibilities together with curiosity.
Articulate your desires clearly while staying open to compromise.
Give space for reflecting rather than filling quiet pauses with chatter.
Express your truth while also respecting their perspective.
Appreciate your partner and show gratitude for their effort to understand, even if more conversations are needed.
Don’t force the conversation if it feels strained. Take a break and try again later.
Keep it playful. Laughter relieves tension! Bring lightness while still being honest.
Stay present if you notice anxiety rising, focus on your connection and breathe through any discomfort.
Know it’s a process and that deeper intimacy and trust takes time.
Celebrate your wins together!
By developing the skills for compassionate, mutually-fulfilling communication, you honor the wisdom of your wants while also caring for your partner’s needs.
Rather than seeing desire as inappropriate, view it as your soul’s guidance toward joy. Communicated with empathy and vulnerability, what you need and want can open the door to greater closeness.
By expressing your true passions delightfully, you become a guiding light for others who may be holding in rather than blossoming out. Your courage will inspire others to do the same.
Owning your worth uplifts you both. When you can share anything with tenderness, you unlock the possibility for deeper intimacy and belonging. When you claim your voice, you free your spirit to soar.
